“The Father” is Unable to Provide Consent, by Meryl Selig

I recently watched “The Father,” starring Anthony Hopkins in the title role and Olivia Colman as his daughter. Despite my initial flashbacks to Hannibal Lecter every time Hopkins’ face filled the screen, I soon overcame that associative reaction, and lost myself in the movie.  It was a bit easier to jettison “The Queen” from Colman’s on-screen presence.

The Father’s dementia is carefully revealed in a series of vignettes that are seamlessly woven to create the unified fabric of the film. The story is constructed from within the elderly man’s mind. As a result, the movie compress and distorts the passage of time. It serves up a series of actors who portray the same characters as those portrayed by other actors.  The structure is brilliant, forcing the audience to ask ourselves, Who IS the Father’s actual son-in-law? Whose apartment are we in?

Ethical tension builds throughout the film, depicting Colman’s need to move her father to a residential care facility despite his strong resistance. We can feel and see the daughter’s deep ambivalence. Her respect for her father’s autonomy conflicts with his need to have round-the-clock care. He does not have capacity to consent to being relocated, so it somehow occurs without his approval. The resignation and sadness are almost three-dimensional.

These human emotions, amid the practical demands of urban life, are played perfectly. Nothing is sappy or clichéd. A few years ago, I watched another movie about dementia, based on the book, “Still Alice.” That film was not as nuanced; the audience witnessed the decline of Alice’s mental capacity as she experienced early-onset Alzheimers’ disease. It was a sad, tragic true story that unfolded predictably. Alice knew what was happening to her, and was able to work with her family and doctors to prepare her future.

This isn’t a movie review, although I urge everyone with aging parents – fully healthy or not – to see the film. Anthony Hopkins’ acting talent carries us along to experience as personally as possible, what it feels like to live in a world that no longer makes sense. The movie may serve to remind family members to be gentle and patient – despite gargantuan pressure to the contrary – when having to make decisions for non-compliant family members.